


Visiting Hours

by Gringoire94



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Gen, Multi, Other, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:21:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26654353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gringoire94/pseuds/Gringoire94
Summary: Shepard is alive, but in critical condition. Kaidan is intent on never leaving her side, but is surprised when a squadmate he has a less-than-great history with comes to check on him.
Relationships: Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian, Kaidan Alenko & Garrus Vakarian, Kaidan Alenko/Female Shepard
Kudos: 13





	Visiting Hours

_Shepard is alive._

Kaidan couldn’t believe it. The words rang in his head, their intensity numbed by his exhaustion (or maybe it was his grief). But the asari commander who had called him to deliver the news had sounded earnest and serious, if unwilling to promise anything further--his commander, his love, was against all odds clinging to life, amidst the wreckage of the Crucible that had brought her end (or so it had seemed) in equal measure to organic life’s salvation.

He rushed to the Citadel to be there for her, just like he had told himself he would were this scenario to come. Seeing her--broken, barely breathing, pale as a ghost--was almost too much to bear. _But alive._

The others came too, of course--Garrus, Tali, Liara. They shared their heartfelt words of gratitude at her bedside, in hopes that they would reverberate through her unconscious mind and give her something to live for. It was better than nothing.

And, one by one, they left, having lives and duties to attend to.

All except Kaidan.

That day on Horizon seemed like a lifetime ago now. He had thought her dead, had spent years grieving what they could have had, only to see her standing in front of him like some ghostly apparition. But she was all too real, all too alive, and working for one of the most dangerous terrorist organizations in the galaxy. It had been too much to take in at the time, and he’d said some things he wished more than anything he could unsay. 

She seemed to have forgiven him since then, but he hadn’t truly forgiven himself.

She had also sought comfort in the arms of Garrus, a development which had wounded him more than he’d thought possible when her very loyalty to the Alliance was in question. They hadn’t been together then, not truly, but he couldn’t help but feel cast aside. Not that he could have been there for her in any case. Maybe that was why he felt he had to be here now, no matter how irrational it seemed, no matter the toll it took on him.

His world shrunk down to the four walls of Shepard’s hospital room. The chair across from her bed became his own. He drifted in and out of a fitful sleep, but never was his mind away from her. He knew it was probably noncompliant with visiting hours for him to be here this long, but the doctors looked on him with sympathy and let him be. 

Besides, she was still alive. Breathing. The monitor by her bedside was pulsing slowly, but regularly. She would make it, she had to, and if there was any chance that his being here would increase the odds of that happening, then by God or spirits or dumb luck or whatever power in the universe there may be, he wasn’t going to leave.

His mind wandered to Ashley. It had been years since she’d left this world, but in some ways he felt like she would be a part of him forever. What would she be doing right now? Praying, no doubt. Sometimes Kaidan wished he had what she had had. It would be useful right about now, to believe that even if the worst happened, his and his loved ones’ suffering was part of some greater cosmic plan. 

He concentrated on Shepard’s barely-moving body, as if through sheer force of will he could keep the flicker of life in her burning. Her chest was moving with breath, with life, slowly, up and down, up and down...

“Kaidan.” A smooth, low voice jolted him out of the no-man’s land between wakefulness and sleep and he turned to see Garrus, looking like a fish out of water in civilian clothes rather than armor.

“Hey Garrus,” Kaidan said. It was as earnest of an acknowledgment as he could currently muster, and in any case the two had never been close. Garrus was always far too trigger-inclined for Kaidan to fully trust him, and that had been _before_ he’d slept with the woman Kaidan loved. 

“When did you last eat?”

 _Why are you asking me this?_ The lack of fondness had always been mutual between them, or so Kaidan had thought, and for Garrus to show undue concern for him outside of a mission was out of the ordinary. Nonetheless, perhaps because he didn’t have the energy not to cooperate, Kaidan tried to give a factual answer. “This morning, I think. It’s...Tuesday, right?”

Garrus sighed. “It’s Friday, Kaidan. Are you telling me you haven’t eaten since then?”

Kaidan frowned. He _had_ been experiencing hunger pangs now that he thought about it, but he’d mostly chalked them up to stress. “I guess so,” he said. He supposed he could grab a bite of the hospital food, but it made the synthesized slop on the Normandy look like gourmet cuisine by comparison, and just the thought made his stomach lurch.

“I’d offer you some of my cooking, but, well, it isn’t very good even by turian standards, and in your case it would probably kill you.”

Kaidan let out a sharp laugh, and in doing so realized just how long it had been since he’d done so. Had it really been only three days since he’d received that fateful call from the asari team and rushed to Huerta Memorial Hospital? It already felt like a lifetime ago.

His stomach growled again. He could use some food...but one look at the sleeping figure in the bed across from him and he knew he couldn’t leave.

Garrus followed his gaze. “Kaidan, you know she wouldn’t want you to do this to yourself.”

 _What the hell do you know about what she would want me to do?_ The venom in his thoughts surprised even him--he supposed it was his exhaustion and stress taking their toll. But Garrus if nothing else had been a good and loyal squadmate, and a dear friend to Shepard, so Kaidan swallowed his contempt. “She needs me.”

“She does need you, but not like this. When she comes to, and I know she will, she’ll need to see you in good condition. Knowing you’ve run yourself ragged on her account won’t do her a bit of good.”

Kaidan sighed. Garrus had a point. Hadn’t Shepard always told him she wanted the best for her crew? And he was far more to her than her crew now. “All right,” he said, defeated. “Where should we eat?”

“There’s a new pub not far from here that serves food for both levos and dextros. Tali and I have gone there a couple of times. They have quick service--we could go there and grab a bite and be back before too long.”

Kaidan took one last look at Shepard. “Let’s go.”

***

The food was a waste, Kaidan thought somberly as the friendly asari server placed it in front of him. He knew he was hungry, but through some combination of worry and exhaustion, he couldn’t eat.

Even though it was one of his favorites, he reflected. The fries, drenched in gravy and covered with gooey cheese curds, would have been down his gullet in half a minute at any other time. But now? Food was the furthest thing from his mind.

Garrus sat across from him, eating a (presumably dextro) rainbow-colored fish. “I never thought they’d find her alive,” he said. “I mean, I knew she’d come back from the dead once, but the Crucible explosion...that seemed as fatal as anything. I guess those Cerberus cybernetic implants saved her life, again.”

“Yeah,” Kaidan said distantly. “I felt like she couldn’t be dead...like it was impossible. Putting her name on the wall didn’t feel right. But I’m not sure if I _actually_ knew it or it was just dumb luck.”

“I think she’ll come out of it, Kaidan,” Garrus said. “She’s alive and in the hospital, that’s what’s important. If she survived that explosion, I think she’ll survive this.”

Kaidan sighed. “I hope you’re right.” He picked a modest forkful of his meal and shoved it into his mouth. The salty, savory flavors of the fries and gravy, combined with the chewy creaminess of the cheese, hit his palate all at once, and at the moment, he couldn’t imagine anything tasting better. He swallowed. “Why did you take me here, Garrus?”

“Well, it’s good food that we can both eat. We can go somewhere else if you--”

“No, I mean--why did you take me anywhere at all? Why bother?” He didn’t say it, but he considered the rest to be implied--they had never been close in the best of times, and the shadow of the woman they both cared for loomed large between them. He still felt bitter about Garrus’ relationship with Shepard while she was with Cerberus, so what about Garrus? Did he resent Shepard for leaving him, or Kaidan for being the one she had chosen in the end? 

Garrus shrugged. “Because I care about Shepard, and I know she cares about you. And since she isn’t able to look out for you at the moment, I will.”

Kaidan’s stomach turned with some combination of shock, contempt, and gratitude. Part of him wanted to reject any attempt to “look out for him” by the man who had slept with his lover. But he sensed only sincerity from Garrus, which softened his heart slightly. 

He thought for a moment about how he would act if the roles were reversed--if Shepard had stayed with Garrus rather than reuniting with him, and it was Garrus torturing himself with worry in the hospital room. Would he have pried Garrus away to get some food in him, and kept him in good condition for Shepard to wake up to? Somehow he doubted it.

All this went through his head in a flash, but to articulate it in his current state was beyond him. “Thanks, Garrus,” he said softly.

Garrus nodded. “Anytime.” He paused. “Well, I sincerely hope this scenario doesn’t happen again, but you know what I mean.”

Kaidan chuckled and took another bite. His stomach was acclimating to food now, and he was starting to feel a real hunger, rather than just a dull ache and queasiness. “The food’s good,” he said, trying to turn the subject to something lighter. “I admit it was better than I was expecting.”

Garrus eyed Kaidan’s food with puzzlement. “What _is_ that, anyway?”

“Poutine,” Kaidan said in between large forkfuls. “It’s classic Quebec tavern food. I’m from Vancouver, but it’s widespread enough in Canada that I still grew up eating it. It reminds me of home.” Kaidan glanced at Garrus’ fish. “What’s that, exactly?”

“Tropical fish native to Palaven. I was impressed they had it here.” He grimaced. “I always try to order something that can’t possibly be confused with a non-dextro food, because well, sometimes restaurants don’t know what they’re doing, and it isn’t pretty.”

Kaidan winced. “I can imagine.”

Garrus leaned over and lowered his voice. “Listen, about Shepard and me while we were with Cerberus...I don’t know if this helps at all, but I really thought you two were done. I wouldn’t have come between you otherwise.”

Kaidan nodded, wanting nothing more than to change the subject. “I understand.”

“And to be frank, as much as I enjoyed our time together, and as much as I knew she cared for me...I could really tell that she still loved you.”

Kaidan started. Of course he had assumed Shepard had still loved him, but for it to be so obvious that even Garrus had been able to tell wasn’t quite what he’d expected. “Really?”

Garrus nodded. “Yes. When she was with me, when we had our times together...I always felt that there was some part of her I couldn’t reach. And not because she was hiding it from me, but because it couldn’t be any other way. I thought it was just the cross-species thing at first, but no matter what I did, it never felt like I could bridge that gap. Looking back, I think I sensed even then that her heart still belonged to you.” 

“Oh. Well…” What was even the appropriate response to a statement like that?

Garrus shook his head. “You don’t have to say anything, and I know you didn’t ask to hear it. I just wanted you to know that.”

Kaidan nodded. “Thanks,” he said, and he meant it.

Before long, both men were finished with their food. Once they paid, Kaidan turned and looked in the direction of the hospital. “Well, better check up on Shepard,” he said, standing up.

Garrus nodded and followed him.

***

Pain. Throbbing pain, in her head, in her limbs, in her abdomen...everywhere it was possible for her to feel anything. And she saw nothing--only blackness. What little she could hear--voices, mechanical beeps--was almost entirely drowned out by the throbbing pain in her skull.

She forced a deep breath. It pained her as her lungs inflated, but she knew it was best for her to do it. She held it for a while, exhaled, and breathed in again, this time more easily. The throbbing in her head slightly subsided. And...yes. She opened her eyes.

It was a bright, sunny day on the Citadel, with warm light flooding in through the windows. Just from this sight alone, she knew the Catalyst had kept its word. The Reapers had been vanquished, one way or another, and the galaxy was saved.

Her eyes slowly adjusted and she could perceive her surroundings more clearly. A hospital room, much like the one Kaidan had been in after Mars. And sitting in the chair across from her...Kaidan. Her heart warmed at the sight.

Her mouth was dry and her tongue felt too big and clumsy, but she nonetheless tried to speak. “K-Kaidan?” she moaned weakly. She wasn’t even sure for a moment if he heard her, but he immediately jolted up from his chair.

“Shepard!” he shouted, and ran to embrace her--tightly at first, but quickly loosening his grip as he remembered her condition. “You’re alive,” he whispered, and leaned in for a kiss which Shepard gladly reciprocated.  
  
When they at last pulled away, she cleared her throat and tried to speak again. “Well, I couldn’t just leave you alone when we were finally going to have some time together, now could I?”

Kaidan laughed. “No, I suppose not.” 

Then he stood up slightly and turned toward the doorway. “Garrus,” he said, “you should come here.”

It was only then that she saw her turian friend standing awkwardly in the doorway. At once she read the situation--he had wanted to check on her, but under the delicate circumstances had wanted to give them space. She was more than a little surprised that Kaidan had invited him to her side, but was glad to see that bridge at least slightly mended.

Garrus walked slowly to her bedside. “I’m...glad to see you’re still with us, Shepard.”

Shepard smiled. “Trust me, I am too.”

  
  



End file.
